So it’s Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, and I’m trying to get out of my parents’ house as fast as possible. I stuff my ten unused Thanksgiving outfit options into my suitcase, leave a couple of shopping receipts on my mother’s desk (“You told me I could put that fur vest on your card! Don’t you remember? Well I NEED it!”), and run downstairs. Well, more like practically fall downstairs with the force of my suitcase behind me. Anyway, as I run out the door my mom hands me a Links of London bag.
The source of my mother's deceptive antics.
“Here, take this,” she insists. I stare at her with an intrigued look on my face. Did she get me that bracelet I wanted? Did Hanukkah come early? I knew I was good during Thanksgiving weekend, but I didn’t know I was THIS good. But what the hell, I’ll take it.
I get home, exhausted from a car ride with my father during which we talked about my future and career and a horrible concept called “self-sufficiency,” and finally look in my bag to retrieve my present. Is it a new watch? No. Is it that bracelet I’ve had my eye on? No. Is it even jewelry or even from Links of London? No and no. It’s cracked pepper turkey.
The only thing more depressing than finding cracked pepper turkey when you were expecting a gold necklace is the thought of calling your mom to say, “Thanks for the cracked pepper turkey, Mom.” And who even wants to eat turkey after Thanksgiving weekend?? Well okay, I do, but she doesn’t know that.
I get into the office today, clutching my turkey in my Links of London bag, hoping that it makes me look like I casually stop by the store on weekday mornings to pick up some new jewelry all the time, and realize that I can’t eat this turkey plain, as delicious as it is. And since Georgia and I have decided to cut carbs due to the unspeakable amount of food we ate during Thanksgiving, I don’t want bread with it–I just want a condiment. And I know just the one.
I run to our SkinnyFridge and pull out Bobbi’s Fat-Free Roasted Garlic Hummus. Now, I have something to say about hummus: it is tricky. First of all, it can’t decide whether to be a dip or a condiment. It’s like, just decide, hummus! Second of all, everyone thinks it is soooo healthy just because it’s made of chickpeas, and people just looove to slather it all over their falafel and act like they are so healthy and hipster as they talk about PETA and gender bias and the problem of bourgeois hegemony–okay, so I went to Brown–but everyone is wrong, my SkinnyFriend. Most of the time, hummus is fattening and caloric and is very dangerous in uncontrolled portions. So unhealthy and SO unhipster.
It's no Links of London either, but it's very good!
But Bobbi’s hummus is fantastic-tasting and is not dangerous at all! It’s creamy and garlicky (don’t eat it before a date) and is everything one could want in hummus. It is fat-free and has only 20 calories per two teaspoons, which is AMAZING for hummus and by my calculations means there are only 240 calories in the whole container. So if you end up accidentally eating half the container when you anxiety-eat your baby carrots at 10:30 pm, no need to feel suicidal!
My rolled-up-turkey-slices dipped in Bobbi’s hummus ended up being a great carb-free SkinnySnack. PLEASE go out and try this hummus, because not only will you like it but you will also be supporting Bobbi, the mysterious mastermind behind this hummus, so that maybe she can come out with more delicious products. Thanks, Bobbi! (And okay, okay…thanks for the cracked pepper turkey, Mom.)