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Trader Joe’s Oatmeal Cranberry Dunkers

America’s Sweetheart/resident psychopath Britney Spears recently announced that she and boyfriend Jason Trawick are engaged. Uh, congratulations? I’m happy for Btirney, I really am. I’ve been a huge supporter of hers ever since I choreographed a floor gymnastics routine to Hit Me Baby One More Time in my 5th grade gym class, and I used Toxic as my ringtone for the better part of my college career. As much as I’d like this marriage to work, it’s no secret that Brit doesn’t have the greatest matrimonial track record.

Maybe it was Brit’s bad habits that tore apart her first two marriages. Remember her widely-publicized penchant for drive-thru burgers? Or her repeated use of gas station bathrooms–barefoot? How about her dire love of Cool Ranch Doritos? And then of course there was the whole head shaving/beating up paparazzi/losing custody of her children thing. Sometimes these things happen!

Whoops! Hehehehe.

So what’s to say that the soon-to-be Mr. Britney Spears will not suffer the same fate as the two that came before him? Britney is a changed woman now: you can see it in her new music and also the courts said so. But what really made me realize that the former-Mousekateer has changed her ways is the knowledge that she has traded her beloved fries and chips for Trader Joe’s Oatmeal Cranberry Dunkers, which her assistant Brett says is her new favorite snack.

What a healthy treat, Brit! I wonder if Jason Trawick turned her onto a purer lifestyle or if she discovered it somewhere along her Femme Fatale tour. Whatever the reason, Britney looks great and I’m going to go ahead and credit her new snacking routine to her overall revival.

With 170 calories per Oatmeal Cranberry Dunker, these aren’t the lowest-cal treat on the market. But I woke up this morning feeling as if my blood has been infused with the holiday spirit, so I’m going to be generous in my snacking suggestion today. As the name suggests, you can dunk these cookies into coffee or tea, or you can just eat them plain. There’s a thin layer of icing on them, which perhaps reminds Britney of the Dunk-a-Roos she used to have such a fondness for.

It seems that Britney has changed for the better. Here’s to hoping she won’t be singing Oops I Did it Again a few months after she and Trawick tie the knot.

Britney Spears stamp of nutritional approval.